THE EMPTY NEST

It has been 20 years since my daughter was born.

She was our first child and I think she has been very spoiled by us and by her family.

I thought I was quite strict as a mum as I am Japanese and we often follow structure in our culture. But somewhere somehow I must have given to my daughter all we had.

She is now more independent when she makes her own decisions. 
She seems to have clear ideas about things and we can often debate. 

Maybe because many of her friends have moved out of their homes already, we started to talk about independent living. My daughter has few casual jobs and is going to study at university next year. She owns a car and she pays for petrol, but how about weekly rent and board? When I asked about it, she seems to disappear. 

Do your adult children pay you rent? How much do they pay? Or have your young adult children already moved out? 

In Japan, young adults stay home until they get married. unless they live in another prefecture for study or work. Adult children staying at home with their family is very common in Japan, especially in the countryside.

Here in Australia, the culture is very different to Japan, and I am not quite sure about them moving out straight away when they become 18 to 20.

Recently we had a big disagreement about house chores and paying rent. Often our expectation of their chores and my children's’ thoughts are quite different. 
Of course they think they are doing ENOUGH chores and we think they do the bare minimum. 

My daughter and son often argue with each other about whose job it is. 
There are not many offers from them to see if they could help us around the house, or cook dinner occasionally. As a result, my husband suggested to our daughter that she might consider moving out and live with her friends. 

Now the idea of living independently is in her mind, I am feeling a little sad. 

What’s your thoughts? Did you feel ok after your children moved out, or are they still living at home?

I have heard of empty nest syndrome... does that mean your home becomes very clean all of a sudden?